Beware: This entry is full of content..
Anyway this "premiere" has been delayed due to some external factors like quizzes, tutorials and TV shows. Now is the real start..
I just have one question in mind. This question is really bothering me that I even woke up at 5 am this morning just to ask myself this question.
Do people hate me?
I may sound insane but I really worry more about this question than the coming exam questions. I would really live unpeacefully until I find the answer to this question. But there could be only two possible answers, yes or no. So why worry about the question when I can just ask somebody to answer this for me?
The difficulty comes in asking somebody.
He or she may be part of the "people".
And it's really hard to say no as the answer to this question.
You might be wondering how this question came up. I didn't just think of questions and then pick one from them. I merely got it from observation. I just observed that some people seem to see me as a transparent material, like I don't even exist. Some may have acknowledged my presence, but the way they act towards me is simply not normal for me. It's like they disgust me or they don't want me in their line of sight. It's like they want me to vanish.
Does this mean they hate me? I don't know. Some of them may just not really see me as worth noticing. Or some might see me as an object to vent out their anger to the world. But whatever it is they feel, it's really really bothering me.
So to be safe, I've done a list of things that I'm planning to do with myself.
1. No more joking
2. No more laughing loudly
3. No more talking of nonsense
4. No more unnecessary movements
5. No more ranting
6. No more teasing
7. No more sharing of "my" experiences
I'm really serious about this list. I'm basically remodelling myself to fit the demands of the "people", that is a serious, quiet and loner Cornchild. Some people may say, "You can't do that!! You'll be always an obnoxious person to us!" But I can do this. I can really do this...
That's all.
Wish me luck. :)